Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude

We learn in the "Successful Marriages and Families" book that the best type of parenting is authoritative parenting style. It states in the reading that this type of parenting "fosters a positive emotional connection with the children, provides regulations that place fair and consistent limits on child behavior, and allows for reasonable child autonomy in decision making." It is through these three steps of love, limits, and latitude that we are able to become the type of parents that God intents us to become.
LOVE:
President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, "Every Child is entitled to grow up in a home where there is warm and secure companionship, where there is love in the family relationship, where appreciation one for another is taught and exemplified, and where God is acknowledged and His peace and blessings invoked before the family altar." Research as shown that children are less aggressive and more sociable and empathetic if they have parents who are more loving, patient, playful, responsive, sympathetic to children's feelings and needs. 1

LIMITS:
Finding ways to effectively help children learn how to regulate their own behavior in noncoercive ways is one of the most challenging parts of authoritative parenting. It is important for parents to be clear and firm about rules and expectations. President Spencer W. Kimball taught, "settling limits to what a child can do means to that child that you love him and respect him." When a consequence needs to be enforced the scriptures teach, "showing forth afterwards an increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved" (D&C 121:43). Parents must correct in a claim, controlled manner. 1

LATITUDE:
Children benefit from being given choices and appropriate levels of latitude to make their own decisions in a variety of domains. Children learn and grow by making choices within the limits that are acceptable to parents. Elder M. Russell Ballard taught, "Helping children learn how to make decisions requires that parents five them a measure of autonomy, dependent on the age and maturity of the child and the situation at hand. Parents need to give Children choices and should be prepared to appropriately adjust some rules, thus preparing children for real-world situations." 1

In this video, Elder Larry R. Lawrence encourages parents to be courageous and take a stand. He reminds parents that they are responsible for the protection of their children both physically and spiritually and those who love their children cannot afford to be intimated by them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZlZoQ2DK4U&feature=player_embedded

1.Alan J. Hawkins and David C. Dollahite and Thomas W. Draper, ed., “Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives”, Chapter 10

We are commanded to Multiply and Replenish the Earth

On the sixth day of creation, God created Adam and Eve in His imaged, he then commanded them to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it" (Genesis 1:28). We have seen in today's world the choice to have children has become smaller and smaller. We are taught and we know that the choice to not "multiply and replenish the earth" has significant consequences for generations to come. Having children brings blesses not only to individuals but also to society as a whole. Citizens who are parents are more invested in the well-being of their community. There is no greater accomplishment then that of a parent. President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, "Of all the joys in life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none other is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts becomes life's most satisfying compensation."1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNahtS4XJ8E&feature=player_embedded

1. Alan J. Hawkins and David C. Dollahite and Thomas W. Draper, ed., “Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives”, Chapter 14

Equal Partnership between Men and Women in Families

The gospel of Jesus Christ proclaims equal partnership between men and women, here on earth and in the eternities. This type of equality does not mean that we are identical. We are all different thus making it impossible to be identical, however it is still possible for us to have equal partnership. We are to walk side by side and not before or behind one another. It is found that couples who have equal partnership are happier with their relationship, better individual well-being, more effective parenting skills, and have better functioning children. It is important for us to recognize and asses the equality in our own relationships and help create a balance of power.1

As you watch this video, look for ways that both the husbands and wives share equal partnership. I have found that as my husband and I have equality within our own personal relationship we are strengthen and brought happiness and peace to our marriage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVCIDLmhWR8

1.Alan J. Hawkins and David C. Dollahite and Thomas W. Draper, ed., “Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives”, Chapter 4

Marriage: Cold, Hard Facts

We have all seen it or heard it, in today's world, marriage is looked upon as a whole lot of work. From the movies to the magazines we see the world telling how horrible and time consuming marriage is. We hear from friends and co-works how horrible their marriages are and how they wish their spouses did this and not that. But what our they comparing their marriage to? I have found a video that that teaches us how the media and the world's view on marriage has distorted the actually meaning.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4OK9DmLpCY&feature=player_embedded

I am here to a test that yes marriage is hard work but it is all worth it. Marriage as given me a person to spend the rest of my life with. Some to love and care about, someone to make dinner for, someone who I can always rely on, someone to listen to me, someone to share my fears and joys with, someone to start a family with, someone to love my children as much as I do, someone to live for. Marriage may be a lot of hard work but I would not trade it for the world. 

Creating a Happy, Healthy, and Successful Marriage

Marriage between a man and women is essential to God's eternal plan, it is the both the husband and wife's solemn responsibility to love and care for one another. President Spencer W. Kimball taught in a BYU devotional, "While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person."
We learn from President Kimball that marriage can be hard and it takes work and at times lots of work but "lasting happiness" is reality that we can call strive for.

I have found a video that gives what I think are great ten tips in creating "lasting happiness"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6qqLIsCFiY&feature=player_embedded

The Family: a Proclamation to the World

In September 1995 the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints came out with "The Family: a Proclamation to the World". Before President Gordon B. Hinckley read this aloud at a general Relief Society meeting he said, "With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of deception concerning standards and values, with so much of allurement and enticement to take on the slow stain of the world, we have felt to warn and forewarn. In furtherance of this we of the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles now issue a proclamation to the Church and to the world as a declaration and reaffirmation of standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets, rs, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout its history”1
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I know that families are ordained of God. It is through the Family Proclamation that we are able to share our believes with the world. President Spencer W. Kimball taught, "the time will come only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us" It is our responsibility to help share these principles of living with those around us so that they can preserve their families from the evils of the world.

I would like to share this video, in which you will hear President Gordon B. Hinckley reading "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOtZPhe94jY&feature=player_embedded

http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

1.Alan J. Hawkins and David C. Dollahite and Thomas W. Draper, ed., “Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives”,